2026 New Year New me?
Happy 2026!
I didn’t write many blog posts during 2025, or none at all, because i was distracted with my relationship at the time more than anything. I was trying my best to make it work but sometimes you can’t do everything and carry two people, you need to find a solution that would be best for yourself, the one. Its a tough and painful decision even after ive made it sure in my mind i wanted to be with this person but i have to value my health, sanity and peace over someone else’s, especially if that person cant carry their own. I tried my best to care for us both, but it was grating on me and exhausting when you feel like you’re the only one carrying everything.
So i packed it up. Mid 2025 i decided i would focus on myself and my health again, the relationship was so exhausting i was visibly deteriorating being locked into this one person. I had people who claimed to be my friends say they observed me deteriorate, saying they knew things were not good for me but would not say anything because im an adult and i should know better… what a lovely friendship. I’ve never had true friendship; it seems every time there is some sort of resentment towards me or what i am that i cannot understand, i must do things the hard way even in friendship for a reason i do not know why. I think i will take a break from trying to befriend others and just live as myself again. Its very hard to try and be social while attempting to better my mental health and having a failing relationship.
This year i want to try again, i want to take care of me. My health mentally and physically, my finances and my pets. That is all i want to focus on now. After my psychosis a few years ago it has been hard to find purpose or even give care to the things around me but i must put my foot down and try again.
I think at times i just get lonely and want human interaction, friendship and love... and i let myself get carried away in those thoughts. I crave real interactions and friendship so badly at times i feel as if my mind just forgets everything i work for.
This year i want to care for myself, my pets and appreciate nature again (going on nature walks and the beach, etc) . This year i want to find myself again, i want to figure out who i am and make it a point to myself to not forget my progress and what i stand for, even if i feel empty. Ive completed many projects this past year that i was trying to achieve since i began my social media journey! Ive made stickers, custom Bic lighters and im currently working on a hand painted hoodie! I love creating and i love art. I want to love again, i want to feel, i want to enjoy. It is something i CAN achieve and i will. My main goal since forever has to be able to live in peace and feel joy. Ive achieved both at times yet i cant seem to make it consistent, its a difficult task. This year i want to bring back peace and hard work back into my day-to-day life.
Im very excited for this new year and what i can create with it <3 thank you for being such lovely support and knowing me, i appreciate everyone who takes the time to view, read or chat. you make this work and i cannot say thank you enough. This year i will find myself again for me, and for you. I want to live to the best of my ability! I hope you can take care of yourself this 2026 as well and have a beautiful year. <3
